For us dads, getting ready for the baby to come can mean a lot of work. Pregnancy is stressful for men, trust me I know, BUT it’s a really challenging time for the mom. Their body is literally growing another body inside of them… think about that for a minute. Some of these new changes they are going through may seem minor, like running to the bathroom a little more often since that linebacker of a kid you helped make is pressing on her bladder. But others are not so minor, especially for the woman, she’s probably feeling exhausted, having morning sickness, and feeling more emotional than usual. There are upsides though, she’s going to go through stages where she wants you… like REALLY wants you, enjoy that sh*t because it will change.
I was far from perfect during the times my wife was pregnant (ask her, she’ll tell you). But anyways, here’s my top 8 tips to navigate pregnancy… for the dad:
1. Be Involved
Be involved in the process! During the pregnancy there’s going to be a ton of appointments, I know doctors’ offices aren’t a great place to hang out at during a pandemic but they’re necessary. Make the effort and go to as many of the appointments as you can. If your lady friend wants to do a class, guess what? You should try to go, this will 100% help you out in the whole “she REALLY is going to want you” thing by the way. I know an epidural class sounds boring, and it might be (it is), but just suck it up and go. This will also get you prepared to be involved when the baby is born, raising a kid isn’t just the mom’s job, who knew? Oh, and take lot’s of pictures of her while she’s pregnant, she will appreciate it.
2. Support Healthy Habits
The mom’s lifestyle is more than likely going to change. Even if the bars are closed in your area from the pandemic, she probably still likes drinking wine at her friend’s houses, and that probably won’t be happening anymore. So, support the new healthier choices that will be made. Try not to shotgun Busch Lattes in front of her as soon as you get home from work (sorry babe) while she’s stuck sipping on peppermint tea. Or try some non-alcoholic alternatives!
If she likes Fireball whiskey give this a try:
My wife personally prefers wine and champagne. While the sparkling grape juices aren’t quite champagne, she enjoyed drinking them. These also seem pretty popular and may be worth a shot:
If you both smoked, then this is a great time for you to quit smoking too and support each other through it. This is an easy one, don’t be a d*ck and smash a whole pizza and half a bottle of bourbon in front of her (do it in the garage like a normal dad) while she’s trying to choke down a chicken caesar salad.
3. Reduce the Mom’s Stress
The more stress you can reduce from the mom’s life the better, and she is probably already stressed out (she’s about to have a baby during a pandemic). A stressful pregnancy is not a healthy pregnancy. Even if she usually packs your lunch for the day, cleans the house, and cooks dinner try waking up 10 minutes early to make your own sandwich for lunch so she can sleep in (or start meal prepping healthy lunches, this will help with the inevitable dad bod in your future, trust me).
There’s a ton of meal prep articles out there, and a ton of great ideas to keep it interesting. I have personally done meal prepping before and it can really help you and the mom commit to healthier eating habits. I have used the cheap plastic meal prep containers but they tend to crack after a few uses. The glass containers are a little more expensive but will last WAY longer, check these out:
Try vacuuming the house, it’s not as hard as it looks believe it or not, so she can have the time to make her nasty peppermint tea that helps her not throw up every 30 minutes (or maybe make it for her, remember, this will help with her REALLY wanting you).
4. Take the Initiative
This one I struggled with, not because I don’t love my wife or just didn’t want to do it, but because I’m bad at picking up on hints. If she’s having really bad morning sickness and someone from the annoying local mom group suggests trying gingersnap cookies, just get her some damn cookies while you’re at the store picking up a tall boy so you can chug it before you get home (just kidding don’t drink and drive, chug it in the driveway so she still doesn’t see you drinking without her). BE A PROBLEM SOLVER!
5. Talk to Your Damn Kid
This is another one I wasn’t great at. I had always heard that talking to the baby during the pregnancy was beneficial, but I just didn’t do it as much as I should have. Don’t get me wrong, I always made sure to remind my little girl that daddy doesn’t mind going to prison (still don’t in case any boys decide to do something stupid). But I didn’t take the time to talk to my kids during the pregnancy that much. Studies have shown that in the 2nd trimester they can hear sounds, and in the 3rd, they can recognize sounds (like the sound of your voice).
6. Get the Nursery Ready
We all love to be “that guy”, the one who can build a NASA rocket out of a roll of duct tape, some WD-40, and a few paper clips. So put those skills to use and paint the walls of the nursery and put the crib together (and all the other furniture if you’re cheap like me and ordered everything online to save a few bucks).
7. Talk to Other Dads
Make it a point to talk to other dads. They probably have some pointers for you, or if they’re really good friends they’ll at least laugh at you over a beer and tell you how much sleep you’ll lose. If you don’t have friends (you should really make some friends…) then try to meet other guys who have kids. It’s important to keep up with your other friends also, but having buddies who have kids is important.
-AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST-
8. Make it About Her
I know the whole process can be tough on guys too, but it’s much harder on women. You’re not the one growing another human inside you, she is. Make it all about her and get used to her being the center of attention. You can throw a “huggies and chuggies” party for you and your buddies, but every other day it’s going to be all about her. Just get used to it and learn to be ok with it.
It may seem like a long 40 weeks, or it may fly by with excitement. But either way a little effort goes a long way. Raising kids can be hard at times, but it is the most important thing you will ever do, so do it right.
–That’s Just Dad Sh*t